Discussing - Enter Society and Get into Society
Naturally, the foundation of social relationship is the desire to please. No matter how intelligent they are, people who enter society with the goal of making a difference and standing out are never liked. They are frequently absurd and always exhausting. People who go into life with such pretenses are unable to better themselves or learn from their experiences. They are not in a suitable state to observe; in fact, they are frequently unsatisfied since they only consider the effect they create. Others jump right into every conversation, engage in endless anecdotes that are only broken up by boring debates, listen to others impatiently and carelessly, and get upset when others appear to be taking care of themselves. These males enjoy nothing as they go through scenarios of ecstasy. They are as displeased with others as they are with themselves. For this reason, young guys should be happy to be natural. Give them a small guarantee that if they watch, listen, and study, they will soon be able to compete with their models.
The trait that a young man should most exhibit when interacting with gentlemen is a respectable level of modesty; yet, he must refrain from any timidity or shyness. His flights should not travel far, but they should be marked with complete certainty when they do.
People who are significantly older than you act with the highest deference and respect. They might be readily placated with a little respect when they start to lose their significance.
Ease of manners is by far the most crucial issue to be addressed. Grace is significantly less important than is generally thought, and it can be introduced later or left out completely. Complete ease and perfect propriety are ample criteria for distinction and appropriate credentials for social position.
The distinction between civility and intrusiveness, familiarity and commonplace, pleasantry and sharpness, the natural and the harsh, and gaiety and carelessness is the most subtle; this is the reason for society's annoyances and its citizens' mistakes. The great talent of a worldly man is to effectively clarify these divisions in his actions. Knowing what to do is simple; knowing what not to do is more challenging.
Long-term use of a kind of moral magnetism, a tact that can only be learned by frequent and prolonged social interaction, gives one the attributes that prevent mistakes at all times and earn one the label of thorough gentleman.
When a young man first enters the world, he should choose those who are most renowned for their grace and propriety. He ought to spend more time with them and emulate their behavior. Horace and Dr. Johnson have found that everyone has an innate tendency to mimic flaws because they are easier to identify and follow. Additionally, there are other manners quirks and emotional nuances that suit one man but would be disagreeable if adopted by another. Even some deportment excellence are inappropriate for someone with a distinct character. Good sense is essential for successful imitation in any endeavor. Accurately recognizing the inherent differences between yourself and your model is necessary, as is making any necessary changes to the copy.
No guy should think that he will be able to simply acquire the traits that make him a gentleman. Not only must the utmost level of artistic effort be put forth, but the greater achievement of art concealment must also be attained. That character's calm and high-minded dignity is the product of tireless and difficult work.
